We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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