Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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