i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize