So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize