if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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