I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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