Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Randomize
Follow @tfln