I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
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I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize