So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
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Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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