Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize