I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize