you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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