Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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