I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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