Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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