not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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