I'm passing your future prison.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize