I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize