Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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