It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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