I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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