Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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