you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize