I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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