Will you blow on my dice?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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