Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Randomize
Follow @tfln