Sry I called you an 8
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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