You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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