The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
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My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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