Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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