I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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