Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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