you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
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I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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