So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Nicole vs. Life
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only if we run a train.
done.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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