If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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