I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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