Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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