i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize