As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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