just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize