I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
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Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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