i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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