The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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