so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
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Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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