Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Shame - the story of my life.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize