I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
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That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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