DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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