I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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