Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize