so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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