so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
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sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
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my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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